Being passionate ain’t enough

Being passionate ain’t just enough to survive in this world. Or should I say, any passion you might bare must be watered just like the plants on your garden. Water it, and it shall bloom heavenly, leave it be- you have a dead plant. When I say you need to water your passion, I meant with practice, love, protection and most often than not you PAY for it. I get it! You might say “Pay?? But being passionate is free of charge.” Or “When you really love what you do, you will do everything to get it- stick or stones.”

Nah, I learned it the practical way folks. I can vouched for myself when I say I am passionate with a couple of things. I maybe, in my own words- THE LAZIEST, MUNDANE HUMAN, but there are things worth getting worked up for. We all do right?  So what are these things?

  1. Books
  2. Travelling
  3. Photography
  4. Writing

Can you see the pattern now? The things I am passionate about are overly hyped things. But nooooo, I didn’t do it because I’m a bandwagon fan(defensive 🤔). I do it because my heart longs to do those things as expensive as it may sound like. 

I need money to do all those things. Money that I don’t even have. Be resourceful you say? Go to the library? MY FUCKING CITY DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A LIBRARY OR A BOOKSTORE. I love reading ever since my comprehension and reading were aligned. I borrowed books from friends before but now, I want to own them. I felt the need to get my own books. I own a tiny collection of 40+ books now but really, can we even stop? No.

Travelling. That is an ambitious dream. I live in a third world country. A country that is still so beautiful despite of everything and then I also have parents that don’t own a single wanderlustin’ bone in their anatomy. Locally, I’ve been able to travel to 4 places out of many travel destinations located in the Philippines. Internationally- one. That international travel was when all the stars met and shine down upon me. I want more. Can I have more?

Photography. Laugh if you must but don’t crush my spirits. I don’t own those overpriced and magical dslrs but I own mobile phones. I take pictures on it, and I edit it from apps like vsco. Mobile photography is a thing these days and oh yes, I can see post where photo enthusiasts look down upon people like me. I’m not ‘feeling pro’. I live for the cinematographic moments and don’t you just love it too? Yes? Take a photo. Get the memory. Don’t get me wrong, I love taking pictures way back then and again, let me emphasize on this– I don’t have the luxury to buy a decent camera. (In all honesty, I do think my gallery doesn’t look bad after all)

Lastly, writing. I don’t want to write a book. I want to read a book. When I say writing, I meant blogging and pouring out emotions into words. It might be because of insecurities (blogging insecurities- coding, editing and all) that I’ve been postponing these desires when I should have started many lifetimes ago.

So in conclusion, you get an idea, you obsessed about it for a while and you develop it from there. You become passionate about it. Even if you’re only passionate about eating, so what!? It is yours. All I’m saying is it gets expensive eventually. Or I could just get a fuckin job. End of story. 😅  

No matter how passionate you are, it ain’t enough to survive lifetimes. You need to start and maintain it. You need your physical, mental and emotional abilities, you need financial support, you need to carve it on wood that you really like what it is that you do ( not because you want to join the bandwagon or rub it off on people’s faces ).

*All this long post is from hurt and anger. My mom said she won’t allow me to buy books I carted on the book depository 😭😪. I am a 23 year old jobless woman. I know, I need to move out already and pay for myself but the hospital I applied to is lousy at doing their job. I’ve been waiting since forever for them to call. Damn it 😒  

Here is a picture of me contemplating on how to jumpstart my life. 

Here is another photo of me giving up on life. 😂


 -injaturtles🐢

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